I'm Terribly Depressed.

The power went out yesterday. It made me sad. So, in absolute despair, I grabbed a candle, lit it, and went to the bathroom. I had no idea what I was going to do. I didn't have electricity. That meant I had no means of entertainment. So I walked into the kitchen, grabbed a knife, sat down in the tub, and started cutting myself. It was neat.

After about an hour or so of cutting myself, I got bored. I was losing blood at an alarming pace, but that didn't concern me. I was worried that I'd have nothing else to do the rest of the night. So I decided to masturbate. It was uneventful. I could have eaten a turkey sandwich for all the pleasure it brought me. It was so stupid. And I found out that I'm shooting blanks now, so I'm incredibly depressed. As usual.

In other news, Second Life is the greatest game ever. Well, it's not technically a game, but it's fantastic. It helps me to forget how pathetic my own life is. If any of you play Second Life, my name is Darken Radek, if you feel like talking to me. Nobody ever talks to me anymore. I guess it's because I'm such a loser.

Here's a picture of the knife I used to cut myself. I call him Rusty. :-)

Rusty, my trusty knife.

I love my knife. I carry it around with me all the time. Nobody messes with me. Like this one time, this guy came up to me and was all like, "Give me all your money, bitch!" and I was all like, "Um, first of all, I ain't no bitch, and second of all, I have my trusty knife. His name is Rusty." He got all scared and ran away. If I remember correctly.

I'm so fat. I weigh like 524 pounds. I went to the doctor, and he was all like, "Lose some weight, you fucking fat ass!" and I was all like, "Okay." I wish people would just leave me alone! I'm so misunderstood.