I discovered this gem of a website. It’s a Christian website, funded by the Templeton Foundation, an organization that is desperately trying to reconcile Science and Religion, which, as any sane individual knows, are irreconcilable.

What really caught my eye on this site was this little tidbit:

Descent from Common Species

A cardinal principle of biological evolution is that all living things descended from earlier, less advanced ancestral species. These first free-living organisms are believed to have appeared on Earth about 3.85 billion years ago, making some of the early details of evolution a mystery. As a result , the actual origin of life remains unexplained, and evolutionary theorists do not attempt to explain it. (See Question 24 about The Origin of Life). These original organisms, however, carried information and were capable of self replication. Over very long periods of time, nature’s selection for beneficial mutations — as well as nature’s selection against detrimental mutations — has led to the vast diversity of living things that exists today.(See Question 26 about The Complexity of Life.)

I love how they just took a jab at science by stating that evolutionary theorists don’t attempt to explain the origin of life. What a shitty fucking tactic! They’re attempting to cast doubt onto Science by making this statement, in the hopes that people will be more swayed toward belief in god, rather than Science. I would just like to take the time to point out the flaw in that statement. Evolutionary Biologists do not study the origin of life. They study evolution, as the title suggests. The origin of life has nothing to do with evolution. Evolution comes after the origin of life. Nice try, assholes.

The authors of the website also claim that they acknowledge the validity of evolution, but rather than applying Occam’s Razor and attributing it to a series of naturalistic events, they instead give their magical sky-fairy all the credit. That, to me, is like a child who saunters into a store, steals the most expensive item in that store, and shouts, “Mine! ALL MINE!” Pathetic.

Religion is no longer relevant. It provides more questions than answers, and Science has contradicted pretty much everything in that bible of theirs. Religion is only alive because people are morons. If this country were to spend more money on education, religion would disappear entirely, at least, in the good ol’ U.S. of A.

Would you believe something from a book that was written over 2000 years ago by primitive cavemen who knew nothing, or would you believe something from Science, which uses rigorous testing to verify the theories it puts forward to explain our Universe? I know which I’d believe, but then again, I’m a rational human being, and you are not.

I was bored, so I decided to dress Jesus up in some fancy clothes. Let’s watch!

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I was thinking that I should start writing about how shitty my day was, just so I’d have something to write about, but then I realized that no one really cares. I can’t even muster up the energy to care about how shitty my day was. That’s how pathetic it is. And besides, that’s been done too many times.

Then I had this awesome idea that I would start taking pictures of my bowel movements every day, and upload them to the site, but apparently that’s already been done too. I think just about everything has been done, and coming up with a new idea is pretty impossible for me.

Hopefully by the time I get done writing this stupid blog entry I’ll come up with a revolutionary new idea that will change the face of the internets forever. But that rarely, if ever, happens to me. Most of the time I’m pretty boring. Either that or I’m an incredibly rude asshole to the people I love the most. I always hurt the ones I love, usually with razors and baseball bats. Sometimes I get creative and use chemicals. But that’s only when I’m feeling particularly frisky.

I’d start video taping the goings-on of Kokomo, Indiana, except nothing ever happens in this stupid town. We have like 50,000 people in this town, and everyone knows everyone, and if you don’t know someone, chances are good that you know at least six people who do. I hate it. People are always peering through my windows. I don’t know how they do it. I live on the fucking third floor. But they’re always knocking on my windows, saying things like “It’s a beautiful, sun-shiny day! Come outside and play! We’re all gay! Hooray!” And then these bluebirds start flying everywhere, and there’s much chirping and singing. The weird thing is, it’s always backed up by an orchestra.

I’m starting to become suspicious of potted plants. It’s like they know something you don’t. Standing there, silently analyzing your every move. Such smug looks on their faces. Drives me mad. And I swear I’ve seen them moving about at night. Always whispering in hushed tones. I wonder what they’re up to…

Every time I look at my fingernails, I get pissed. It’s not fucking fair that cats get these super awesome claws, and I get these stupid dumb fingernails that couldn’t tear a hole in water. Well, I don’t think that’s possible anyway, but you know what I’m trying to say. Water is soft. My fingernails are lame. That’s the point I’m trying to get across here.

I’m going to save up a shit ton of money and get kitty claw implants. Then no one would dare fuck with me. And I bet them stupid fucking potted plants would shut their fucking traps if they knew what was good for ‘em. One look at my awe-inspiring kitty claws, and they’ll run for the hills. Or hop. Whatever their mode of transportation may be.

Kitty Claws!

I know the reason I started this website was because I wanted to express my atheism, and basically refute every Christian’s dearly-held beliefs and make them cry. But I found that I can’t really write that many articles about being an atheist. You can only write so many articles before you end up sounding like a broken record. Which is why I don’t really write that much about my disbelief in a god. I figured after the first three hundred or so times of reading about it, you’d all pretty much get the picture. So that is why this website is no longer going to be strictly about atheism. Of course, it really isn’t just all about atheism, but for some reason, any time I try to write an article, I keep putting it off because I’m out of things to say about atheism.

I should start doing more videos. But for some reason I can’t think of any ideas to make a video about, and the few ideas I do have require other people to be in them, and none of my lame friends will do a video with me because they’re camera shy. I told them I’d wear a rubber, but they still won’t be in my videos. That last sentence was a joke. Just to clarify for my more stupid readers. (I know you’re out there! Just looking out fo’ y’all.)

I know why I have writer’s block. I’ve put all my creative efforts into making my album. I’ve been writing songs like crazy the last few months, and I’ve even started on songs for my next album. But now I’m burned out. I have nothing left. I have to recharge or something.

I have no inspiration. It’s incredibly difficult to find inspiration for anything when you live in a town that has an average IQ of potato (8). What I need to do is move out of this shit-hole town. But I can’t until I graduate. Sigh. Sigh. SSSSiiiigggghhhh. Here’s a conversation that is happening in my head right at this very moment, between two people whom I know not at all.

“Do you think I’ll ever be happy?”
“No. I don’t think you’ll ever be happy.”
“And with whom am I speaking?”
“Your mom.”
“Oh, haha, very funny, mister!”
“Thanks, I pride myself on my ability to make other people laugh.”
“Well, you’re doing a real fine job.”
“And you, sir, are a real cunt.”
“Oh, touche, touche! Say, how would you like to meet me for lunch, say tomorrow around eleven-thirty?”
Oh, damn! I can’t! I have tea with the queen that day!”
“‘Tis a shame, truly ’tis. Oh well, ta-ta!”
“Au revoir!”
“AAAAH!”
“Oh dear, that is a large truck! Quite large. And it seems to be — Ahh, well. You seem to have a much more intimate understanding of what just happened than I do.”

Ahh! Truck!