Some of you don’t know who Judah Friedlander is. That’s because you’re incredibly stupid. For those of you who do know who Judah Friedlander is, then you’ll agree with me when I say he is a god among men. Chuck Norris ain’t got nothing on Mr. Friedlander.

The God, Judah Friedlander

As you can see from the above picture, Judah Friedlander is a testament to manhood. Everything about him screams “awesome.” One time, Chuck Norris was standing behind Judah Friedlander in line at the BMV, and Chuck Norris was getting impatient and tried to cut in front of Judah Friedlander, underestimating him because of his glasses. Well, needless to say, Judah wasn’t very happy about that, so he told a joke that was so funny, Chuck Norris pissed himself, thus negating all the manly things that have been said about Chuck Norris since the dawn of time. Chuck Norris is now Judah Friedlander’s disciple. He follows him everywhere.

There was this other time when he was playing a writer on the show “30 Rock” and he told a joke that was so funny, it made me laugh. For those of you who know me, I rarely laugh, and even then, only at funerals. So for Judah Friedlander to make me laugh outside of a funeral says a lot.

Judah Friedlander invented humor, a fact that, sadly, is overlooked by most scientists. He also invented peanut butter, which is delicious when eaten with toasted bread and jelly. In fact, if it weren’t for the sole efforts of Judah Friedlander, society as we know it would not exist. Judah Friedlander invented society. Actually, I think he also invented people. That’s how awesome Judah Friedlander is.

Judah Friedlander is god. You know how in the bible it talks about god and crap? Well, they’re referring to Judah Friedlander. It might say Jesus, but that’s actually Aramaic for Judah Friedlander. Judah Friedlander has existed for millions of years, a fact that, sadly, is overlooked by most scientists.

Oh, and if you feel compelled to write a comment telling me how stupid you think this article is, Judah Friedlander will send you to hell and laugh and laugh and laugh.